Mum is being a MASSIVE control freak

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I dont know where else to turn I just really need some advice. I have a 21 month old an another on the way and I am meant to be getting married at the end of the year. However my mum is being a MASSIVE control freak. She is wanting to dictate every part of my wedding and if I say no to something she manipulates me saying 'I'm paying for this wedding'. She wants me to have this huge extravagant wedding but I just cant bring myself to do it because my family cant even afford to get our car serviced properly, let alone have a huge wedding.
I am almost at the decision that I want to get married in secret. Just my fiance, two babes and two witnesses who will be close friends.

I am worried that my mother will flip her lid if I dont invite her but shes becoming too much for me to bare and she doesnt really care about what i want, she only cares about herself.

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